


Dysphoria

by ThatNerdyCat15



Series: Mirror Mirror [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Gender Dysphoria, One Shot, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, but it might become a series, this is really just me venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 18:03:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6917572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatNerdyCat15/pseuds/ThatNerdyCat15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The AU where Weiss is FTM and in the closet and hates his feminine body. Blake almost causes Weiss to have a heart attack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dysphoria

**Author's Note:**

> I hate gender dysphoria and this was my way of venting. But I actually like this idea and it's possible it'll continue to be an actual fic. Just in case, I'll only post it as oneshots in a series.

When I woke up that morning, it was early. It was always early; I didn’t want to run into anyone when I went to shower and put on my day clothes. But this particular morning, it was earlier than usual.   
The room wasn’t pitch black, but just light enough that everything was visible yet tinted blue still. I took a look at the window and saw pink and orange in the sky, which was still littered with the faintest hints of stars. It looked pretty. I grabbed my scroll from beside me where it was plugged into it’s charger and snapped a picture to show Blake later. For all the black and dark colors she wore, she had a secret love for pastels. I couldn’t argue, I also liked pastel colors.  
I yawned, getting up out of bed as quietly as possible. No one stirred as I gathered my clothes and tugged my binder out from under my mattress. It hadn’t taken me long to discover that no other hiding spot was safe. Luckily, I hadn’t been stashing my binder in any of those places.  
I took a shower, and decided that washing my hair wasn’t worth the hassle, since I’d washed it the day before. When I got out, I checked my scroll. It was still an hour before anyone else on my team or on JNPR would wake up. I sighed in discontent at my reflection in the mirror, all pale skin and delicate curves. I pulled my binder out of my stack of folded clothes and put it on, wincing as some of my hair got caught in the tight garment. I was so pale that the white fabric almost blended in with my skin.   
“I really need to get out more…” I said to myself as I inspected my reflection. My chest was almost completely flat. I let out another sigh, this one relieved. I pulled the white button up that I wore under my Beacon uniform on and buttoned it up all the way. I thought of putting on the skirt, so I’d be mostly dressed for the day and would just have to remove my binder before returning to my team’s room, but decided against it, opting for the pajama pants I’d been borrowing from Neptune. They were dark blue, and because they were too big, made my hips look more narrow. I nodded in approval, then pulled my hair up into a bun that I couldn’t see in the mirror, making it look to me as though my hair was short.   
“Perfect.” I mumbled. I spent a few more moments looking at my very boyish reflection before turning away. I finally changed into my uniform, only leaving my hair the way it was. I could get away with a bun, but not a binder, sadly. I turned back to the mirror and almost cried. I looked as pretty as I always did; the perfect Schnee princess.   
“Here goes another day of pretending to be a girl.” I muttered, glaring at my own eyes bitterly. I hated it. I hated seeing myself in mirrors like that, and I hated when people called me pretty. I hated being called “she” and “her”. I hated having to pretend and lie to my teammates, and as much as I wanted to say something, I couldn’t bring myself to believe that they wouldn’t hate me. Or laugh. Or call me a liar.  
I gathered my things and headed back to our room, where everyone but Blake was still asleep. Blake sat on her bed, reading a book about ninjas or something. She didn’t question my reading choices, and I didn’t question hers. She looked up from her book at me, offering a rare smile in greeting. I smiled back, hoping it didn’t look as fake as it felt.   
I started putting my used clothes in the laundry basket we shared, and I didn’t notice when I dropped my binder. Blake did, though, and as she went to put up her book, she picked it up. I saw it out of the corner of my eye., and my heart went wild.   
She’s going to find out, she’s going to ask, she’s going to-  
“Hey, you dropped this, Weiss.” Blake said, holding it out to me. I froze for a moment, shocked that she didn’t say anything, before I realized my binder looked like a white tank that was just a bit small. Of course she didn’t suspect anything. But my pause must’ve concerned her, because she tilted her head to the side in silent question. I blinked, and took my binder from her, offering a quiet “thank you” as I put it away in a drawer. I’d have to remember to move it back to its original spot later, when no one was around to notice.  
“You okay?” Blake asked from behind me. I turned around, smiling.  
“Yeah! It’s just early, I’m still kinda tired.” I replied. She seemed to buy my excuse, and I had to fight the urge to sigh in relief as she gathered her own uniform to go get ready for the day. Once she’d gone, I decided to go and hang out in the library until class started. I needed a new book anyway, but it was still nice to get out of there after that little mishap. I just hoped Blake had actually believed me for once and wasn’t going to bring it up later.


End file.
